False compliments

Kids can detect a false compliment at 200 yards.

If they are like my kids, they hate it.

Here’s a tip.  Not everything needs praise.   Sometimes it’s good enough for a kid (or for anyone) to do something or accomplish something on their own without anyone remarking on it at all.

Also, no one excels at everything.  Telling a kid that everything they do is AMAZING will have one of two possible results; they will either believe you and have a distorted view of their own abilities, or they will come to believe that you are lying to make them feel better because everything they do is crap.

Before you give a compliment, make sure it is genuine.  Don’t gush on and on if a simple “nice job” will do.

One sincere statement  will win out over hundreds of false compliments every time.

2 comments on “False compliments

  1. M says:

    The compulsion to tell your children how wonderful, beautiful and exceptional they are must be a disease that has been “caught” by almost every parent of about 50 and under. Almost. Our age group did not parent that way.

  2. Mary says:

    When they are working hard on a project or artistic creation, my kids prefer some sincere questions about their work to over-generalized compliments. “There’s a lot of blue over here; could you tell me about it?” as opposed to “Wow! that is the most amazing painting I have ever seen!” As a bonus, I end up getting more insight into their imaginations as I listen.

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